Episode 256 | Watch on YouTube | Listen on Buzzsprout
12.7. That’s the average number of jobs Americans born between 1957 and 1964 held by their mid-50s, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. But the interesting part isn’t the number — it’s that almost none of those changes came from a master plan. Life happened: a layoff, a new boss, a better opportunity, a move. Which raises the real question: why do we wait for life to change before we change ourselves?
There’s a line people love to quote: “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” The problem is, most of us have no idea what “great” actually is. We’ve never sat down and defined it. So we stay in “good” — not because we’re lazy, but because we’ve never actually named the target.
Picture someone in his early 50s.
Good career, good salary, good reputation. He doesn’t hate his job — he’s just less excited than he used to be. He thinks about consulting, teaching, something more. Every time it comes up, the answer is the same: “Maybe next year.” He’s not miserable. He’s comfortable. And comfort is the enemy of curiosity — when we’re uncomfortable, we ask questions; when we’re comfortable, we stop asking them.
The excuses all sound reasonable:
I’m too busy. It’s not the right time. I need more clarity. I’ll wait until the kids are older. I’ll wait until retirement. I’m waiting to see what happens. The real question underneath all of it is whether you’re waiting for direction, or waiting to be forced.
Eventually something changes anyway —
new leadership, AI, a reorg, a missed promotion, a health issue, a layoff. That’s usually when the resume gets updated, the old contacts get called, the new skills get learned. But here’s the point: the crisis didn’t create the need for change. It just removed the ability to keep ignoring it.
There’s an old example worth bringing in here. Nehemiah wasn’t unhappy in his job — he was cupbearer to the king of Persia, one of the most secure, trusted positions in the empire. He didn’t start with a plan. He started with a burden: news from his brother that the walls of his home city were still broken down, the gates burned, the people exposed. He couldn’t unhear it. The plan came later. The resources came later. The permission came later. The workers came later. The purpose came first.
That’s probably the biggest thing noticed across a year of conversations —
People thinking about a change: almost everybody asks, “What should I do?” Almost nobody asks, “Who am I trying to become?” Those aren’t the same question. The first one searches for a job. The second one searches for a purpose.
Whether or not you’re a person of faith, there’s something worth noticing in Nehemiah’s story:
every meaningful story of change starts with movement before certainty, not the other way around. Three distinctions matter here. Patience prepares; passivity postpones. Discernment gathers information; avoidance just keeps saying “I’m still thinking about it.” Faith takes the next responsible step without every answer; certainty waits for all the answers — and for most decisions, that day never comes.
Here’s where this lands:
most people aren’t actually waiting for direction. They’re waiting to discover a purpose compelling enough to overcome the comfort they’re already living in. That’s a different problem than “I don’t know what to do.” It means the answer isn’t a five-year plan — it’s finding the thing that finally outweighs comfortable.
None of this means quitting tomorrow.
It means one conversation. One experiment. One class. One mentor. One side project. One networking lunch. Small, but real. The goal is options built before you need them — not while you’re panicking.
Purpose doesn’t always begin with certainty.
Sometimes it begins with a burden you can’t stop thinking about. Don’t wait until life forces you to move. Start paying attention to what keeps pulling at you while you still have the freedom to choose.
Most career advice starts with “what job do you want.” This starts earlier than that: What burden won’t leave you alone? What purpose does that reveal? What small action moves you toward it?
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