I used to have an administrative assistant who worked for me and one other person. I did not hire her – she had been around for years before me. She did an excellent job at everything she touched and really took excellent care of everyone. The problem was she always complained about everything. Everyone was out to get her. Decisions were made about budgets that directly impacted her position and how she spent money. She was convinced it was against her directly because “they just want to get rid of me.” I would tell her “You may be right or you may be wrong, but what are YOU going to do? To complain about it will get you nowhere. Either quit and do what you want or stay and be happy. Why be miserable?” Of course she would agree with me – and then move straight on to complaining. This is what she did – everything everyone did bothered her to a personal level.
She was so negative I even dreaded seeing her. Her responses to external events were causing new events for me! I had to decide how to respond to her, and just decided to always be upbeat and talk positively about everyone. She quickly decided I was not sympathetic enough and spent little of my time complaining. Yet – it is sad. Such a remarkably talented and caring lady who was so bitter no one wanted to work with her. She did not see that she had the ability to respond differently.
These are just some of the ideas Dale Callahan talks about in his new book “Company of One”, due out this Fall.
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